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| I am home for a short while, but in terms of how long I have been here in the past few years, it is a long while.
And when I leave here, I will go home too.
It's beautiful to have two.
This is my home of rest.
I can hear the wind in the trees in the backyard,
and their tops are so high and full that is makes a sound like a distant sea.
At night before sleep, I read a book of my choosing,
and a warm, furry friend snuggles up to my leg for comfort.
And I sense that this is the final stage of a transition.
A season of rest before a great leap into a new dimension of the future.
I feel the steady rock of the cliff beneath my feet as the equipment I need for flight is put over my heart
and across my shoulders.
And the cool breeze refreshes me before a journey over an unknown land. | | |
| it's one in the morning
why i am up this late, i have no idea except that there is so much to
do, it all shouts at me so loud that i have to get something done
before sleeping
there are a couple more boxes started
i actually climbed underneath my bed tonight and dragged things out that have been snuggled away from sight for nearly two years
it created a fog of dust that i am ashamed to find was inhabiting my house
even the underside of a bed should not be this dusty
this random activity revealed many spiral notebooks that i scribbled in from the age of fourteen until about seventeen
many stupid entries
all innocent ones
and i find that i was a much better writer then
surely i wrote from inexperience about things of which i had no real idea
but it was decent writing!
i was shocked!
it led me to this conclusion: writers must read a lot
i think my increased vocabulary and literary dexterity came from reading almost constantly at that point in my life
seeing as i had about half of the education and a tenth of the life experience from which to create at that point
as i have now
or maybe it just sounded better because i slept more in that era and
hadn't killed quite as many brain cells with smelling two-year-old dust
as i have in recent years
we will never know
hopefully i will get better at writing in the future
and after reading this nonsensical blathering
i know you must all hope the same
over and out
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| "Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."
Ephesians 4:1
What does that even mean? What does it look like to live in a way that makes you seem worthy of being called by God, out of darkness into His marvelous light?
1. Be humble and gentle.
2. Be patient with each other.
3. Make allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
4. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit.
5. Bind yourselves together with peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3
wow. | | |
| There are pins in the maps on the wall in my front bedroom.
This may not seem monumental to anyone but me...but there is just something about it.
I've had the maps up for months. One of the world, one of the US.
And I look at them and think...do
I put pins where I want to go? Should I put pins where I feel led to
go? Should I put them where there are people I want to visit? I didn't
know, so I didn't do anything.
So the months have passed and no pins.
And quite a bit of silence to listen to.
Then today...with no ceremony and little thinking about it aforehand, I heard a Voice...
"Go get the pins."
In a matter of minutes, it was finished.
6 pins. 6 places.
Will I go to those places?
Will I just pray for them?
What will happen there?
Will there be more pins?
More places?
What does it mean?
I'm not sure. But somehow, just knowing where to put the pins feels like something. Feels like direction.
Feels like a silence is being broken.
It's nice. It's encouraging.
*smile*
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| Thank God that He is wise enough to not let us see the fire sometimes.
Last Friday was the first anniversary of my graduation from nursing
school. On that day, they pinned me with a seal and a lamp and
pronounced me an R.N. I was glowing. I knew that God had done an
amazing thing and seen me through a battle that was definitely bigger
than me. 2 years worth of battle--headaches, nerves, sacrifice and just
plain I-don't-know-if-I-can-make-it-to-the-end mental agony. It felt
like a glorious triumph! And it was!
And if I had known about the year to come, I would have marched
straight off the stage and proudly put my application in at the nearest
McDonald's.
But of course, if I had known what nursing school was going to be like,
I would've kept my happy little self in the art department 2 and 1/2
years earlier.
Most probably feel that way about growing seasons in their lives when
they look back. Now some people are so deep and strong that if they
could see into the future and fully see the cost of what they were
about to attempt, they would still choose it anyway. I don't know if
I'm one of those people. I would like to think that I am, but hey...I
gotta be honest. And this drives me to the wisdom of God.
He doesn't let us see the smoke coming off the fire we are about to
walk into sometimes. If it's His fire, we just have to trust that He
will see us through the other side. (If it's a fire we've gotten
ourselves into...well, we just trust His mercy then too.) And toward
the end, we begin to see (as I am beginning to see) that although I in
weakness would have probably chosen an easier path given the option
aforehand, this has been the better path. And it makes me so thankful
that I have Jesus. Even though He chooses things for me that I wouldn't
choose, in the end, it is always better than I would have chosen for
myself.
Because only He can see the entire picture.
This is not to say that we shouldn't count the cost before we venture
out. It says somewhere in the Word that you should. But it also brings
to light the fact that...whenever the cost is all tallied up and all
the numbers are in...
following Jesus is still worth more.
Stay encouraged.
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